Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
