So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Put some vodka in it
put some vodka in it
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT