just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
