He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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