I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
