Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
