Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
