I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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