I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
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I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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