"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my vagina gasped.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
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