my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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