She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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