He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
