she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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