my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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