I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I need to calm my uterus...
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
