The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
