We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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