He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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