Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
