How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
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i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
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I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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