he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
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