I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
