# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
