...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
