I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
