I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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