You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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