I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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