I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
