Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
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So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
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I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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