went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
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You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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