There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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