So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize