dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
