Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
