i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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