can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize