I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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