I'm really into asian looking animals
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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