just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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