I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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