another moral hangover. fuck.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
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