people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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