the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Hippo gnu deer
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
