I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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