My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
