Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
