where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
