so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
