If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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