yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
