Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
