I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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