i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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