There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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