I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
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I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
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I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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