Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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