WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
